What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
