My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
