plz talk dirty to me
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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