That's when you crack a 10am beer
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Boobs are out for the taking
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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