just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
