he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize