so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You need Xanax blowdarts
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
