Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
