I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There's always time for handjobs
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize