my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
hell yes lets make some ravioli
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
