She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She's the barista slut.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
