is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
