hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
