you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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