that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
