life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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