4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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