and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm always down for nudity.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
