Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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