Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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