Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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