I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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