Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
