i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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