I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
