Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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