She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
