Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
