i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's never too late to be topless.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
