Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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