Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
