In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
