Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
