i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
