Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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