hotel room ftw
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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