Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
