My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize