What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
