Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
