i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
