I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I have peed in a lot of sinks
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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