Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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