respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
