I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
