My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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