What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
