She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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