Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
