And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
