I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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