i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I wish they made helmets for livers.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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