also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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