It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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