If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
