Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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