Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
