remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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