Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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