Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
NoShamevember. You game?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
