Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
