So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
