they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
