The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
