I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
